The short answer: what private school interviewers look for is four things, and none of them is polish: curiosity, authenticity, kindness, and fit. Evidence that this child would be good to teach, good to sit next to, and happy at this particular school. There is no shyness column, and no points for a firm handshake. After twenty years of reading interview write-ups, I can tell you the notes that mattered were rarely about confidence. They were about the moment a kid said something true.
Start with the piece of paper, because it demystifies everything. After your child leaves the room, the interviewer writes, and what goes down isn't a score. It's impressions in sentences: how the child engaged, what lit them up, how they think out loud. What the form is fishing for is the four things below, and knowing them changes what prep is even for.
Curiosity first, because it's the most underrated. A child's own questions are data: the real ones, not the rehearsed ones. "What do kids do at lunch?" beats any polished question about academic rigor, because one of them is genuinely wondered, and the interviewer can hear the difference. A curious kid signals a kid who will do something with what a school offers.
Authenticity is the one this whole site orbits, so here I'll just say the part that matters: we can always tell. Performed enthusiasm all sounds the same by November; one true thing cuts through it like a window opening. Believable beats impressive: a small real interest, honestly held, outscores a résumé recited, every time.
Kindness has a tell, and it isn't "being sweet to the interviewer." It's how a child talks about other people: friends, teachers, a sibling. Warmth about someone else is very hard to fake and very easy to hear. Reserved kids often quietly shine here; deep, specific friendships are their signature, and "tell me about your friends" is where it shows.
And fit runs both directions. The honest version of your child lets a school say a true yes, which is the only yes worth having. As for the myths: volume, eye-contact quotas, vocabulary, the handshake, no column for any of them, and no wrong answer to "what's your favorite subject?" either. Aim the prep at the four real things and let the myths go; your child is already carrying everything the form is looking for.
Jennifer Hines spent twenty years as a Dean of Admission at Noble and Greenough School. Her free guide, What They're Really Asking, decodes fifteen interview questions from the other side of the table, and shows why the quiet kid is often the one who lands them best.